Dear Maya Of course we weren’t really surprised n’est-ce pas? But still very exciting! Dying at the teasers! Can’t wait for the films!
HIM (grinning holdling up a box) Hi honey! Ok I waited until you could watch me open your fedex. Kids! Look - It’s Big Red the mermaid! Come see what mum sent
HER (grinning) Fuck you! SHUT UP ABOUT THE HAIR already! And watch it buster with the BIG comments. I thought it was perfect. (cooing at dogs) Hi babies! Ingore your silly dad. Mom misses you sooooooo much. Are you behaving for dad?
HIM (opens box. looks confused, lifts out contents) What the fuck is this? A hat? says what ”Stalker” ???
HER (raises eyebrows & giggles) Well looks like you’re following me AGAIN. How long are you going to keep stalking me?
HIM (does “Grumpy Cat” face then smirks. eyes twinkle) FOREVER. and how do people know YOU aren’t the one following ME
HER: (shrugs shoulders palms) I was just looking at the lineup dude.
HIM: (trying to be haughty. Failing) Well I WAS brought up by a proper English mum so I suppose “ladies first” (air quotes) Puts it on. (Smiles) I love it. Thanks honey.
HER: you’re welcome (pleased he likes it)
HIM (swaggers & says with Texas drawl) well Ma’am & how about The Rover
HER: (smirks) yeah well you can thank me for that …. apparently someone overheard me talking about your nocturnal nudgings & how you like to wake me in the middle of the night with “honeeeey. I have a little something to show you”. I guess they thought you were the “Midnight Cowboy” type. Hence the time slot.
HIM (eyes bugging out, mouth open) WHAT? A “little something” (air quotes) seriously?
HER (blushes, covers face laughing) look dude it’s not like I am going to say he wakes me up in the middle of the night with a “big something” (air quotes)
HIM (grins and boasts) well, it’s true
HER (laughing) DUDE! someone might hear you
HIM (looking at dogs) it’s not like they haven’t seen me pleasuring you
HER (laughing harder) shut up! thanks dude! It’s not like I don’t already miss you so fucking much.
HIM (gesturing to body part) Do I need to remind you what you are missing
HER: (blushing again laughing) I have a pretty good imagination
HIM Shall I book us a room in Cannes? I miss you so fucking much too.
HER: (wistul) You know that’s kind of up in the air but yeah go ahead. Me too (smiles with shining eyes) but I am so fucking proud of you baby
HIM (grins) baby I am proud of US. You deserve this
HER (Shakes head smiling) you too. I gotta go to bed. We were up filming pretty late. Hey I’ll see you later though right?. I love you
HIM (lopsided smile - knowing he’s killing her and loving it) love you more. Im Signing off. You are making me horny
HER (smiles back ) Love YOU more. Ok 1,2,2 hanging up
BOTH YELL “I love you” as screen goes black
So you see sweet Maya. All is well. We are so proud of them too. It’s going to be OK! I am in transit to Boston for the marathon but I promise I will write again. xoxoxoxo
Kristen on set of Amrican Ultra earlier today with new hair color xTo my peep that said that the K sighting was of Kristen with burgundy hair….I think it might be a real sighting… Look at the new color! I can see how this could look burgundy at night.
Your power will only grow. There is beauty in it, but also great danger.